I found this in an old notebook the other day. I have no recollection of writing this, but it was written on Dark Horse letterhead and sent to a female friend back in California. The letter is dated June 7, 1994, so I had been in Portland and working for DHC for about five weeks at that point and apparently was already willing to totally slack off on the job. It’s quite possible the beginning could partially be from a template for letters of this kind I’d have to send out regularly as assistant to the editor in chief.
Thank you for your interest in our company. As you know, Dark Horse specializes in publishing an eclectic mix of comics. We’ve published fine creator-owned projects like Madman Comics and Grendel, licensed products like our wide range of Star Wars titles, and even created our own super-hero line, Comic’s Greatest World.
By far, the accomplishment we are most proud of, however, is hiring Jamie S. Rich. It does our heart good to have such a well-known, accomplished young man working under our roof. Why, practically every time he makes a phone call, the person on the other end says, “You’re that guy who writes all those letters, aincha?”* He humbly replies, “Yes, that is me. Ain’t I keen?”
Recently, Jamie has displayed to us a fine sense of what it takes to be a comic book professional -- he sat alone in his room and ate a pint of ice cream and pretended he was really cool and had a lot of friends. We feel it is this essential geekiness that makes Jamie the fine example of comic book dynamism that he is. It is this lack of any redeeming social qualities that make him a valued employee.
If you have any questions concerning our company, please direct them to Jamie. If you are searching for a particular comic book, he’s your man. Hell, if you need someone to sweep the floor, give your car an oil change, or wash the sludge from between your mother’s mammoth breasts**, we volunteer Jamie.
Jamie. He’s not just an assistant. He’s an editorial assistant.
Those are words to live by.
Jamie S. Rich
That’s right, I’ve always been unfunny. Here some of you thought it was a product of old age.
* As an allegedly well-known letterhack, it took no time at all for me to get sick of people asking me if I was the same Jamie S. Rich who wrote letters to comic books, even though without having done that, I may never have ended up at the Horse in the first place.
** The recipient’s mother did indeed have rather larger breasts.
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