I'VE GOT A SECRET MINIATURE CAMERA

Photobooth in reverse...

Face forward...

(1) Carlos the Jackass

(2) How close is too close? This is too close.

(3) I have a camera in my phone.

(4) Hulkin' out.

Current Soundtrack: The Daily Show

SWEET SUGAR CANDYMAN

A NYCC cartoon drawn by Nico with text written by me...

(left to write: Nico, Tally, Jamie, Joëlle)

See more of Nico's sketches and impressions of the show, plus this cartoon in French, over at his blog...

Current Soundtrack: Duran Duran, Notorious 2010 remaster

IS EVIL JUST SOMETHING YOU ARE, OR SOMETHING YOU DO?

This arrived in my inbox under the title, "Evil."

Current Soundtrack: Antony & the Johnsons, Swanlights

GREAT FOOD IS COOKED BY PSYCHOS

This week's Portland Mercury has an article by Alison Hallett exploring the realities of culinary seduction. I am one of the people who contributed his own personal humiliation to her column inches. Read about all the failure here, or just take a gander at my sad tale below:

From a nerd's point of view, cooking seems like the kind of thing that would earn you points with a prospective mate but ultimately ends up being another tool for a predatory partner to take advantage. As a well-known doormat, my incredible baking skills or occasional forays into cooking are just another way in which I've put myself out there only to get nothing back. The home economics class I took in junior high paid off with a skill for making incredibly huge chocolate chip cookies for my high school "sweetheart," but chocolate orgasms were all either of us ended up with whenever I put on an apron. Likewise, making my dad's curry recipe for an adult gal pal filled my house with a tantalizing smell, but never the smell of sex. Satisfying her appetites left mine unattended. Apparently, a doormat in the kitchen is equal to being a doormat in the bedroom. If only I had a fetish for spike heels, then I'd finally get something out of being walked all over. --JAMIE S. RICH

Next time I have a girl over, her meal comes out of a box. A box of condoms, that is! (These are the jokes, folks, settle down!)

Current Soundtrack: The Dead Weather, Sea of Cowards

ARE 'FRIENDS' ELECTRIC?

This week's Five for Friday topic over at the Comics Reporter was: "Name Five Webcomics You Read That 1) Aren't Any Of The Five I Chose, 2) Posted First On-Line -- Not After Or Concurrently With Print, 3) Are Ongoing (Updating At Least Once This Year)."

Here were my choices:

1. "Ellerbisms" by Marc Ellerby
2. "Between Gears" by Natalie Nourigat

3. "EmiTown" by Emi Lenox
4. "Briar Hollow" by Terry Blas
5. "My Cardboard Life" by Philippa Rice

I had to kick Adam Cadwell to the curb, though I usually put him on these lists. But he's, well, a cad. I still like "The Everyday, though." Plus, he's always hanging around in Ellerbisms trying to instigate a threesome, so people who follow my advice will still find him.

Read everyone else's choices here.

Update!

As if sensing that I was going to post this, Tally updated the Between Gears site with her first Emerald City comics right after I went there to steal the above image. I even appear in the comics, though the below scene didn't really happen like that (I never rushed her!) and *I* introduced her to Brandon Graham first. Autobio comics are full of lies!!!!! Plus, she makes me look fat. She also makes Joëlle look like somebody's mom--though one with booooze!

(In case anyone doesn't get it, I'm just teasing Tally. I love her comics and love being in them!)

Current Soundtrack: Sugababes, Sweet 7

JUST A SMALL TOWN BOY, BORN AND RAISED IN SOUTH DETROIT
TOOK A MIDNIGHT TRAIN GOING TO EMITOWN

Success! I have finally made it in this business we call show. I got an EmiTown cameo.

I am adorable. Though, frankly, I recall being a lot more perky when she came by.

Follow the bouncing image to the full strip...

Current Soundtrack: Bloc Party, "Ion Square;" Primal Scream, "Higher than the Sun;" Portishead, "Requiem For Anna (Un Jour Comme Un Autre - Anna);" Gorillaz, "Ghost Train"

ALL IS VANITY, pt. 2

Okay, I've uploaded a bunch more caricatures of me. View the whole set here. Amongst them is this bit from Craig Thompson, never before seen by anyone...

From the inside back cover of my first edition copy of Good-bye, Chunky Rice.

Visit Craig at: www.dootdootgarden.com/.

There are still some that I need to find, like editorial cartoons done by Judd Winick and Kelley Seda, an envelope sketch by Matt Wagner, and then there are comic book cameos I can scan eventually. These were all I was able to manage to dig up off of old discs, however.

This Christine Norrie strip of proposed images cracks me up. You can see in the set that she finally went with #3.

Current Soundtrack: The Prodigy, Invaders Must Die (deluxe version)

ALL IS VANITY

Yes, I love me.

I started a Flickr photo pool of caricatures of me from comics, etc. Currently, it's full of what I currently have on my hard drive, but I'll add to it over time as I dig up more.

See "All is Vanity"

Current Soundtrack: Mansun, Kleptomania disc 2

WHY DO I KEEP COUNTING?

I didn't get to spend much time on 5 1/2 this week, getting a mere 1,900 words on paper. A couple of movie screenings, that volume of Antique Gift Shop, and the 12-page script for Allred got in the way. No idea what will be done with the latter, but I enjoyed writing it.

Doing two scripts for an unannounced Image anthology, a six-page script by request of an artist, and this one brings my short story count up to four in the last month or so, totally something like 34 comic book pages. I really do enjoy doing those little things.

Anyway, my schedule is totally clear this coming week, plus everyone in comics will be at Comic Con, so it should be pretty much all novel while that's happening. I doubt you'll hear my name spoken at all at the show. I tried to get some decisions made about the book with Mike Holmes, just to see if we could add it to a roster of announcements from the prospective publisher, but never heard back one way or the other on it. Ah, the joys of "no reply."

Unrelated to all that, I have two words for Maggie Gyllenhaal: I'm Batman.

Seriously? Adorable...

If you ever grow tired of Peter Sarsgaard, I'm totally available. I'll even add a second A to my first name just to fit in. Plus, that whole thing where girls normally have to get over the fact that I'm creepy won't be a problem with you, since, you know, you're married to Peter Sarsgaard.

And, hello, who at American Express has been reading my diary? Because clearly someone got ahold of my private fantasy about my ideal couple to see in a porno movie:

Current Soundtrack: Amityville, Mazzy Star, Christina Aguilera, The Symbols, Thom Yorke

Current Mood: dorky

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All text (c) 2008 Jamie S. Rich