EVERYBODY'S CLEVER NOWADAYS

Several people, I think, expect me to have an epiphany this weekend where I am actually sorry that I am not at the San Diego Comic Con International. I hate to break it to them, but that isn't going to happen. Despite not being able to see cute faces like Kelly Sue and Jen and the rest (some of whom will e-mail me to whine about not being listed--for shame! you fell for it again!), I am more than content to sit this one out, let the media fracas and fanboy faraggo go on without me. It's been ten years since I've even had the option of not going. I'd be stupid not to take it. I know for a fact that very little of the actual con interests me anyway.

But, if I needed validation for this self-belief, it came at 6:27 this morning, when apparently my phone rang, a call from someone in San Diego, and the evil chuckle spontaneously rolled from my throat as I considered the many emergencies that might require a call to me. That chuckle was followed by a distinctly dastardly, "Fuck 'em."

Last night I went down to Powells Books on the recommendation of a co-worker to see Jonathan Ames read from his new novel, Wake Up, Sir! He was being accompanied by the band One Ring Zero, who were promoting their new album of klezmer-like music, As Smart As We Are, featuring song lyrics by famous authors with names like Auster, Gaiman, and Snickett. This was to be new territory for me, as I was unfamiliar with either.

Ames, it turns out, is hysterical. Wake Up, Sir is a tribute to the old Wodehouse books featuring Jeeves, and his reading of selected passages was hilarious (though, his voice could use some more modulation). The writing is full of obsessive, neurotic humor and long, rambling, yet unique observations of the quirks of life. (If anyone is wondering what to get Chynna Clugston-Major for her birthday next month, this book solves that problem. She'd love it.)

One Ring Zero turned out to be better than I would have expected. They reminded me quite a bit of They Might Be Giants--and not just for the superficial accordion comparison. There's also the nerdy wordplay and the two distinct male voices, one nasaly and one lower, one guy in glasses and one without. Ames joined in on the song he wrote for them--a tale about a childhood language he had created with two of his friends. One of those friends was in the audience, a Portland dweller now, and he joined in to help demonstrate, as well as play a song of his own, a cute tribute to Ames.

I didn't buy the One Ring Zero CD, though. It seems like the sort of thing that would get a couple of listens and then the novelty would fade. Plus, the title really says it all. It sounds like the writers involved got too caught up in their own cleverness rather than simply setting out to write a good, classic song. I'd be curious to hear the Atwood contribution, though, and I don't think they got Hornby, but one would wonder what he would do if given the chance. (I could be wrong. Amazon doesn't list the tracks, and I am too lazy to look elsewhere.)

Work: Started the third Clamp School Paranormal Investigators yesterday. Please, let it end soon.

I also had a dream last night where I was looking in the mirror and my beard had what is likely the equivalent of three or four days growth. Except I had shaved that morning and with a brand-new blade. This, folks, is what I call a nightmare.

Current Soundtrack: Hallucinations: Psychedelic Pop Nuggets From The WEA Vaults

golightly@confessions123.com * The Website