"I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A TENENBAUM..."Okay, I am not sure who deserves a bigger "fuck you." It's either the people who somehow thought I didn't see the potential symbolism in me being Eli Cash, the
Royal Tenenbaums version of an out-of-control writer who was a wannabe in every way possible, both personally and professionally; or the people who said, "Really? I think you'd make a better Royal."
Meaning, Gene Hackman's character. The guy who was involved in this exchange:
Royal: I've always been considered an asshole for about as long as I can remember. That's just my style. But I'd really feel blue if I didn't think you were going to forgive me.
Henry Sherman: I don't think you're an asshole, Royal. I just think you're kind of a son of a bitch.
Royal: Well, I really appreciate that.
Thanks, jerkoffs. Message received loud and clear. For your next mission, convince water it's wet.
Anyway, for those who didn't know. I went out on this Halloween dressed as Eli Clash, Owen Wilson's character in
The Royal Tenenbaums. You know, this guy:


This was
Joëlle's idea, and I fully admit to being a little disappointed that her true plan didn't come off. She went out dressed as Margot Tenenbaum (a.k.a. Gwyneth Paltrow), and the initial plan was to have a Chas (Ben Stiller) and a Richie (Luke Wilson). Chas dropped out early, and Richie disappeared the day of. It threw everything off.
Still, we persevered, and I think you can all see she was a perfect Margot.



Click any photo to see the full set.
We made a good time of it regardless. Joëlle did my make-up and I think did a swell job. We ended up going to Suki's and taking on the karaoke machine. In honor of my character, I started off with the Clash's "Rock the Casbah" and then did some old favorites, Pulp's "This is Hardcore" and my worst-to-date rendition of "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera.
Joëlle performed "All My Loving" by the Beatles and "What's Up?" by 4 Non Blondes. Her Bonnie Tyler was sniped by another singer, and her
Tenenbaums-themed "Me & Julio Down By the School Yard" never came up in the rotation. Too bad. Our friend
Matt Grigsby did perform Hadaway's "What Is Love," however, so points to him.
I can't remember what year I last dressed up for Halloween. Maybe 1997? All I remember was that it involved me showing up in the then-usual leather jacket and eye liner, and Barb Wagner deciding that was not enough and putting lipstick on me. So, this night set a precedent, a return, further proof that Joëlle Jones can get me to do anything. All in all, I had a good time, so it was worth it. I even got to see raccoons on the way home.
By the way, Joëlle drew a Margot for James Lucas Jones'
Tenenbaums gallery. Drop him a line and ask him why he hasn't scanned it. jameslucas [a] onipress.com
Current Soundtrack: Mandy Moore,
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All text (c) 2007 Jamie S. Rich