REALLY SAYING SOMETHING...?
Dear Comic Book Internet:
I'm issuing a challenge to you.
Tomorrow, Friday, May 25, by my declaration, is "International Comic Book Shut the Fuck Up Day." I don't want anyone online to talk about comic books tomorrow. Don't review them, don't post news about them, don't blog, don't argue on message boards. Tomorrow, we will all crawl out of our asses and actually be in the world. You can read a comic book, but for once, why not just enjoy it in your head and shut the fuck up. You've had your face shoved in the clothes hamper sniffing your own dirty undies for a nearly two weeks now and it's all getting boring and silly. (Awww, who am I kidding? It's not getting boring and silly, it started out that way. And, no, not your issues, per se, but all the whining and the righteousness.) Better yet, don't just read comics during this radio silence, how about you create something? Write and draw the comic book you want to see rather than complain that it doesn't exist already. It'll be awesome. Go wild, indulge yourself, and do so free of embarrassment. (Yes, even you girls who are into octopi porn--and I know you're out there, coz girls can be pervs, too--can go ahead and draw your octopi porn.)
Now, you know I love you, Comic Books. I don't blame you. I don't even think you're special in this instance (though, I do know how much the comics world loves to pretend its most average and everyday problems are somehow unique and not like everything else everywhere). I know it's the internet's fault. It's made self-important turds out of people in just about every facet of society. We've become a culture that talks about doing stuff rather than actually doing it. This is our chance to lead the way. We will be a test balloon. If it works, next week we'll try music bloggers. Those geeks at Pitchfork will get a three-day weekend! And from there, we'll pick other topics. Celebrity gossip, perhaps?
So, if you're with me, don't say anything. Just be quiet tomorrow. I realize the worst offenders won't jump on board, but we'll pay them no mind. When you Google feed updates with comic book news tomorrow, hit "mark all as read" and pass right over it. If it's worth knowing, it will all be there, smelling just as fresh, on Saturday. If it's not, what did you miss?
Bringing you a noise-free society,
Jamie S. Rich
Current Soundtrack: The Riches, ep. 9 (no relation)
Current Mood: fed up
All text (c) 2007 Jamie S. Rich