A personal diary keeping people abreast of what I am working on writing-wise.

Thursday, September 06, 2007



* 3:10 To Yuma, a pretty solid Western with Christian Bale and Russell Crowe as the thoughtful good guy and bad guy who find common ground on the business end of each other's gun barrels.

* Shoot 'Em Up, which is sure to be one of my most contentious reviews in a while. I hated it with an appropriately violent passion. It's torture porn played for laughs, really. I expect I'll get some interesting mail here.

If you've seen it and agree or disagree, please take the time to post. All points of view will be entertained. If you want to read a really well-written praising of the movie, go to David Walker's take at Badazz Mofo. Dave and I literally sat four seats apart, with only Mason between us (physically and figuratively, since Mason held a middling opinion on the film, too). So close, yet so far apart.

On the other hand, sitting next to me on the other side, was the sort of mouth breather that will eat this movie like candy. Sometimes I almost give in to a compulsion to review the audience, so I can say, "Maybe this chucklehead is what made me hate the movie, I'm not sure." This woman was the sort of irrepressible idiot who feels compelled to utter every thought that pops into her scattered brain. You know the type. Every time she finds something funny, she has to repeat the funny thing out loud. At one point, she even noted, "Boy, that guy is a psycho." Yeah, he only happens to be the villain of the movie, I'm glad you caught on. If Larry David is reading this, it seems like there is an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm just waiting to be made that hinges on the thinking person's annoyance with people like this.

My absolute favorite moment of idiocy from her, however, came almost at the very beginning. Now, keep in mind, I'm sitting in one of the rows roped off for the press and special guests. She was in there because I think she was with someone representing the studio. The movie has just started, and she says, "Ooooh, this is so film noir, so gritty." Except there was nothing at all film noir about Shoot 'Em Up. Its garish, colorful style is practically the antithesis of noir. If you're going to sit in a movie critic row, you can't loudly misuse a term like film noir. It's like me hanging out in a kitchen at a gourmet restaurant and saying, "What are you making there? Is that Stouffer's Lasagne? I like my Lean Cuisine." You just don't do it!


* Dr. T & the Women, Robert Altman scored a near-miss with this fucked-up Harlequin romance. Any of my ladies out there want to Confess to some gynecologist fantasies? I didn't think so. Next, I'm going to write a novel about a sexy female urologist who has the fellas lining up for prostate exams. Mmmmmm.

* Inside the Actors Studio: Leading Men, a new 3-disc collection with Robert DeNiro, Al Pacino, Sean Penn, and Russell Crowe.

* Night on Earth - Criterion Collection and Stranger Than Paradise - Criterion Collection, a double dose of classic Jim Jarmusch.

* Spring River Flows East, an overlong, occasionally brilliant, but mainly dull Chinese epic from 1947.

* Wasted Orient, a pretty ho-hum documentary about the Chinese punk band Joyside. The tour stuff we've seen a million times before. More like a DVD extra than a main feature.

Current Soundtrack: in physical space, it's quiet, because Al Columbia is in the other room talking on camera while a devoted fanbase listens; in my head, I'm hearing the Super Furry Animals track "Rings Around the World"

Current Mood: irate with humanity

e-mail = golightly at confessions123.com * The Website * Live Journal Syndication * My Corporate-Owned Space * ComicSpace * Last FM * GoodReads * The Blog Roll * DVDTalk reviews * My Books On Amazon

All text (c) 2007 Jamie S. Rich

1 comment:

Mason West said...

From Jamie's "Shoot Em Up" review

"I was squirming in agony for just about every frame of this awful, awful movie..."

I was sitting next to the man and this in no turn of phrase. He literally was squirming.

Though I didn't "like" the film, I was in need of an 80 minute break from my brain. Kinda like a thought-enema. Not sure if that qualifies as an endorsement or not.