YOU'RE NOT VERY WELL, ARE YOU? ARE YOU?!

Well, are you Pandora? I don't think so.

I had seen a couple of passing references to this Music Genome Project program Pandora on Live Journal and The Engine, so I decided to try it. You tell it some music you like, and it creates a radio station based on your info, picking songs it thinks you will like.

Never one to start things lightly, I decided to make it go from one of my all-time favorites, Suede. Its first choice for me was a Fountains of Wayne song. I instantly told them that Fountains of Wayne are awful, and so it picked this band Bicycle instead, who I wouldn't be surprised are really Fountains of Wayne in disguise based on the song played. Roger Waters followed, which was somewhat okay, but then it gave me Son Volt and John Frusciante? Fucking Son Volt?!

I decided to help it out, since it clearly didn't understand Suede's music. I told the program that in addition to Suede, I like Roxy Music (a classic comparison) and Mansun (a contemporary comparison). This somehow made it decide, albeit briefly, that I am more hard rock than alt-country, so I was tossed Creeper Lagoon and Queensryche. Oh, piss off! Pernice Brothers was next, and that was fine, but still very country, so I added David Bowie. thinking it was a much more obvious choice. That lead to more classic rock like Gentle Gaint and a bunch of solo artists I've never heard of.

Okay, everyone deserves a second chance, so let's try another station. I began with Trash Can Sinatras, and that worked a bit better. The Lilys were the first band chosen, and Robbie Williams followed shortly, and then Sebadoh (mediocre, but not bad). I added Morrissey, and they came back with Guadalcanal Diary and then Hefner. All right, now we're making sense, right? Sadly, no. A few tracks later, Billy Joel and Rhett Miller got tossed in. How the hell are they picking these things? In order to switch it up, I decided to suggest something not really like either the Trash Cans or Moz; since they didn't have Kenickie in their database, I used Bis. Bis, apparently, leads to some bad disco diva named Becky Bailing. She has a nice ass, I'll give her that (at least judging by the one picture), but I vetoed her music. Garbage's "Special" followed. Good, good.

Next was something vaguely dancey and atmospheric by The Burnside project, so I decided to ask them why they had chosen this song, "Another Way": "Based on what you've told us so far, we're playing this track because it features electronica influences, mild rhythmic syncopation, a clear focus on recording production, major key tonality and electric guitar riffs." Hmmm, well based on what you told me, Music Genome Project, you're stuck up your own ass.

Since the next song was some dancefloor freak named "Lucia," I gave up.

I've got you beat, computer. You shouldn't have fucked with me. I'll always break your system.

Current Soundtrack: The Strokes, First Impressions of Earth

Current Mood: sarcastic

golightly@confessions123.com * The Website * Live Journal Syndication

[to leave comments, click on the time-stamp below, then scroll down on the new page] – All text (c) 2005 Jamie S. Rich